It's amazing how much emphasis we place on the shape of our bodies as women. Whether it's Hollywood, BodyWorks gym, or even our brothers and sisters, it seems that we are constantly on the old medieval stretching rack trying to be formed into some better person's shape just so that we can feel acceptable.
When I was younger, my mother always told me to enjoy being super thin...about size 0 thin! I hated not having curves and it always seemed that the clothes we purchased were made for someone else even if they were the correct size. Designers apparently are only acquainted with people with hourglass shapes!
Since having our sweet boy, I'm a bit fluffier and now may have a bit too much curve...unfortunately, it still isn't hourglass by any measure!
Funny story, one of our youth mentioned the other day that I dance and bounce around a bit more while I'm singing since I've had Ethan. I had to admit that I didn't bounce more...I just have more fluff to bounce when I'm trying to keep time with the music. I thought it was quite funny although it could have been disastrous if I weren't happy just being me!
So, how do you cope with not being contoured the way you want to be? There are many tools in the arsenal I call my closet but one of the most, shall we say, deceptive or effective is color! Color can create the illusion of a shape even when it isn't there or even when there's a bit too much of it.
That's why women who want to appear slimmer do not wear horizontal stripes as they make one look wider. Those with less than a sleek, svelt shape might shy away from even vertical stripes too. Imagine someone taking out a pencil and making squiggly lines on every imperfection you have! Yeah, that's how I feel about it too! No thanks!
However, color can make you appear smaller in certain areas and fuller in others. For instance, I still have a bit of a ballet dancer's figure despite the extra poundage. With small shoulders, narrow hips, and a waist that's not too small thanks to a recent pregnancy, I might look more like a box if I wore a solid colored top. The beauty of the black sweater I'm wearing today, however, is that the very open top and buttoned bottom give a triangular shape that gives that extra bit of curve. Pair that with the knee-length, A-line skirt that swishes when I walk, and you have a feminine, curvy-looking outfit that is modest while also appearing attractive.
Here are some tips for using color to define your shape:
Dark colors make things seem smaller
Tans or nudes blend with skin and give a seamless look
Extremely tight clothing can highlight flaws as can stripes
Extremely loose clothing can make you look like a tent
Take a moment to notice the shapes created by the layering of your clothes
Take a chance! Play with the placement of colors this week to play up your assets in a modest, tasteful way! Why not use your clothing as a tool to make you feel better about yourself and dress for success!
‘Dying’ to be feminine, soft, and elegant this season? Try pastels for a delightful twist on the trench!
One of the best things you can do to highlight your skin, giving your face a rosy glow, is wearing pastels—especially those in the pink family! For this outfit, I chose a coral trench without its belt over a tan skirt! And, of course, the shoes compliment the exact hue of the trench!
Trench coats were rarely seen in pastel until recent years, but the combination is quite elegant! To spice it up, don’t forget a beautiful hairband or flower. You are a woman—look like it!
From soft, muted tones of green, blue, and yellow, the pastel trench coat does indeed exist…and thrive!
As many of you may have noticed--because people have been noticing all my life--my hair is hardly the typical Apostolic length. Allow me to begin by clarifying that I've never cut nor trimmed my locks before in my entire life.
In fact, the length of my hair is genetic. There are certain families that cannot grow hair much beyond the middle of their back as their bodies do not produce strong enough strands to withstand the onslaught of daily living.
I remember hating my hair as a teenager. Many were the times that some other teen--and sometimes even an adult--would approach me, asking if I had cut my hair. I was always so embarrassed that it wouldn't grow much longer than my shoulder blades. For a couple years during high school, I seldom wore it down. I had learned a few techniques for hiding the length of the my hair in a french twist where the cascading curls were actually taken from the crown of my head.
I didn't want to bring a reproach upon my father's ministry or to shame God. Eventually, however, I found that it's not about what everyone around you thinks. It's about being obedient to God.
If anything, my inability to grow long hair made me more understanding of others' flaws; I think twice before quickly assuming they are in 'transgression' just because what I see doesn't measure up to my expectations. Sometimes, there are genetic difficulties ... or even blessings that we are unaware of.
For instance, I also do not wear make-up but my mother suggested recently that I remove one of my profile pictures because my eyelashes looked too dark. She said, "With your blonde hair, no one will believe that's not make-up!"
Of course, if you know anything about me, you know that my father has--or shall we say had--jet black hair. I was, therefore, born with that same hair color. During my late childhood, my hair turned lighter and lighter like my mother's; my eyebrows and eyelashes remained black, however.
I feel pretty fortunate to have such a combination but, once again, sometimes it leads to disturbing questions.
Still A Quandary
Recently, I have changed careers--all glory to God! My previous position yeilded quite a bit of harrassment and an immense amount of pressure. Often, I couldn't keep the tears from overflowing my cheeks as I made dinner and my husband would just stand aside, not sure how to help.
This past November, my beloved grandfather passed away. November and December were exhausting...overwhelming. I was daily fearful for my job and the death seemed to push my family members and me over the top. So much was happening at once.
In response, my hair, which I had coaxed to almost reach my waist for the first time in my life, began falling out in handfuls. A couple weekends ago, my husband was talking to me while I combed my hair when another section simply came out in the brush. I just looked at him and began sobbing.
Although I am having blood tests taken to test my thyroid and check for anemia, my doctor has assured me that she believes the sudden hair loss to be due to the incredible amount of stress I have been under.
The frustrating part? I'm stressed about being stressed enough to lose my hair! Unfortunately, it is also breaking off like it's suddenly brittle and yellowing blades of grass. Not only can you see through it but it has broken off to shoulder length, roughly resembling the lovely furr of a sheepdog!
What To Do When My Best Falls Apart
Of course, I realize that I am not the only woman who faces such frustration. So many suffer from various maladies--many far more serious than losing hair--and they may not see how the sun will ever shine again.
As I walk through this trial, I just want to encourage any of you facing similar circumstances that, first, God does not look on the outside but rather looks on the heart.
He knows when you've given everything you have and find yourself empty, unable to meet the obligations facing you...and He will make up the difference. Just like he multiplied the oil for the widow whose sons were threatened with slavery, He can multiply the efforts you've made. Believe me...or rather, believe God...it will be enough!
Second, no matter how far down you fall...even when you do make mistakes and fail...God is there to catch you if you'll let Him. Deuteronomy 33:27 says, "The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." Beneath all the failures...beneath rock bottom...beneath it all...His arms are waiting to catch you!
And finally, God knows where you are. In Job 23:10, even Job in all of his trials could say, "But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." He has never lost sight of you or lost touch with what you're going through. God has His eye...and His hand on you!
Just steer your eyes away from what you think everyone else is thinking of you...and keep it simple. Keep it just between you and God.
It's Not About Them Anyway
Although I am not Catholic, I love this poem attributed to Mother Teresa:
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; (It was never between you and them anyway.)
I seldom share trials I am currently facing, but for some reason, I felt this may be needed today. I hope you enjoy this song that has given me solace so much lately. God bless...
It isn’t everyday that such a book comes along that not only speaks invaluable truth into our lives but also provides the methods for applying those truths. The Girl in the Dress by Lori Wagner is one such book. Originally intended for young women, it could easily serve as a valuable resource for any Christian woman with wardrobe questions. It calls us to not only be modest, employing scriptural example as a basis, but it encourages us to be beautiful.
It is true, people respond to the visual. People respond to the way we look–as do we! When I first began college, I wanted more than anything to be a professor or a writer. It required publication and/or acquiring my doctorate. I knew it would be a long road so I made a plan.
Part of that plan was changing how I looked. I began to dress how I felt a professor would dress–with dignity, class, sophistication, and care. Everyday as I looked in the mirror, my appearance reminded me where I was going and that I could get there!
Whatever your dreams, take every opportunity to encourage yourself. Even looking the part in advance allows you to try out those wings a bit! As we know, we are all in the process of becoming, but we’ll never reach our goals if we don’t begin somewhere.
We can begin being beautiful, godly, holy, elegant women today, as so many of our beautiful sisters prove. Layering is in style and works with casual as well as formal dress; there is hardly a look we can’t make lovely!
This book, although written for a younger audience, is already on the agenda for my ladies here at the church. The pastor is excited about distributing it to each of our women, young and old. Not only does it give a rich variety of perspectives and experiences of women who have made holiness their lifestyle, but the latter section addresses all those wardrobe snags a godly woman faces!
From how to layer items of clothing for a flattering though godly look to the intricacies of shopping techniques, this book is a ‘must have’ for every lady! After reading through it for myself and dog-earing several dozen pages, I bought a second book for my hope chest; someday, my little girl will need it!
