Contour by Color

It's amazing how much emphasis we place on the shape of our bodies as women. Whether it's Hollywood, BodyWorks gym, or even our brothers and sisters, it seems that we are constantly on the old medieval stretching rack trying to be formed into some better person's shape just so that we can feel acceptable.

When I was younger, my mother always told me to enjoy being super thin...about size 0 thin! I hated not having curves and it always seemed that the clothes we purchased were made for someone else even if they were the correct size. Designers apparently are only acquainted with people with hourglass shapes!

Since having our sweet boy, I'm a bit fluffier and now may have a bit too much curve...unfortunately, it still isn't hourglass by any measure!

Funny story, one of our youth mentioned the other day that I dance and bounce around a bit more while I'm singing since I've had Ethan. I had to admit that I didn't bounce more...I just have more fluff to bounce when I'm trying to keep time with the music. I thought it was quite funny although it could have been disastrous if I weren't happy just being me!

So, how do you cope with not being contoured the way you want to be? There are many tools in the arsenal I call my closet but one of the most, shall we say, deceptive or effective is color! Color can create the illusion of a shape even when it isn't there or even when there's a bit too much of it.

That's why women who want to appear slimmer do not wear horizontal stripes as they make one look wider. Those with less than a sleek, svelt shape might shy away from even vertical stripes too. Imagine someone taking out a pencil and making squiggly lines on every imperfection you have! Yeah, that's how I feel about it too! No thanks!

However, color can make you appear smaller in certain areas and fuller in others. For instance, I still have a bit of a ballet dancer's figure despite the extra poundage. With small shoulders, narrow hips, and a waist that's not too small thanks to a recent pregnancy, I might look more like a box if I wore a solid colored top. The beauty of the black sweater I'm wearing today, however, is that the very open top and buttoned bottom give a triangular shape that gives that extra bit of curve. Pair that with the knee-length, A-line skirt that swishes when I walk, and you have a feminine, curvy-looking outfit that is modest while also appearing attractive.

Here are some tips for using color to define your shape:

• Dark colors make things seem smaller
• Tans or nudes blend with skin and give a seamless look
• Extremely tight clothing can highlight flaws as can stripes 
• Extremely loose clothing can make you look like a tent
• Take a moment to notice the shapes created by the layering of your clothes

Take a chance! Play with the placement of colors this week to play up your assets in a modest, tasteful way! Why not use your clothing as a tool to make you feel better about yourself and dress for success!

Dressing for Your Body

Dressing For Your Body ...
And You Do Have One!

Dressing is more than simply finding bargains at the next mall! It is about dressing for your personality, your pigmentation, and, yes, even your body!

So often we see an outfit that looks amazing on another sister or even on a celebrity; we instantly think that wearing that outfit will gain us the beauty she has! However, we each need to realize that we are completely individual!

Unlike Any Other

There is no one quite like you! The mix is totally unique: your hair color, your eye color, the tone of your skin, the shape and size of your body, your personality, and even the body movements that characterize you! No one—even an identical twin—is a carbon copy of another person!

Being so unique then, why do we all try to pack ourselves into the exact same clothing styles?

I’ll tell you why….Hollywood and the media present a one-sided coin to us. You either fit X, Y, and Z of the requirements, or you do not fit in at all!

Unfortunately, Hollywood and the wide array of modeling agencies across our nation do not portray an image or series of images that is a correct representation of our society!

What does that mean?

Over 99% of models and actresses we see in clothing ads, films, and on the stage are smaller than a size 4! However, this is not a representative model! In fact, less than 5% of average American women are that size!

What’s amazing is that we allow that 5% to tell the rest of us what is acceptable. We allow them to dictate our worth and how we measure up in the beauty department!

It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee! These women aren’t any happier with their bodies than we are; many of them have had multiple plastic surgeries! They tuck! They inject! They implant!

There is no satisfaction because they, like many of us, have never understood how to simply dress for their bodies! Before you need to sit a spell on the counselor’s couch, let’s just get some facts out in the open!

Let’s Bust Myth #1 Right Now!

It’s not about having a perfect body. In fact, I challenge you to find a woman with a perfect body! The reason it is impossible is because everyone has a different idea of beauty.

For instance, I recently found out that a male coworker of mine has thought I was sickly since I’ve known him; now, I am not a puny size 0 or even a size 4 by any means, but my height makes me appear thinner than I am. However, since I was not curvaceous, he actually thought something was wrong with me!

His idea of beauty is a woman who is at least a size 14; never smaller has he ever dated! And, let me tell you, he is not settling or desperate as we would say, tearing ourselves down even further. He is a very attractive, very successful, and very intelligent business man who has become dear friends with me and my husband! He isn’t desperate; he simply has a different idea of beauty than those assembling our catalogs!

None of us is doomed to be unattractive; beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder and we have to stop seeing ourselves with Hollywood’s eyes! Doing so can actually wreck our marriages as the men who already love us struggle to understand why their love and adoration are not enough to please us!

No matter your physical size or shape, it is about (1) the inside, and (2) how you package yourself!

Advertising

It is a well-known fact in the advertising world that 80% of what sells a product is its packaging. Sad but true, you could pass up a truly wonderful Bar-B-Q sauce because of shabby labeling in favor of a lesser flavored brand that boasts a creative marketing team!

We all fall for these tricks on a daily basis; isn’t it time we learned a few of them for ourselves?

Now, please don’t misunderstand me. We are not for sale. We don’t flaunt ourselves in a parade, selling ourselves to the highest bidder!

First Impressions….Ok, all impressions
However, it is true that first impressions count! I am reminded of when I used to teach college English. Every semester, I made it my goal to be the most upbeat, encouraging, and even interesting instructor on staff. And for many semesters, my students absolutely loved me!

I was the one they invited to their weddings and their baby showers. I was the one they came to for advice. I was the one that several divulged their hearts to because I was the only stability they could turn to at the time.

Taking care of my first impression with them built lasting relationships—relationships I still have though I have not taught there in over four years!

I am reminded, however, of one semester in particular. I had a bad case of strep throat during the first week of classes. Rather than allowing another instructor to cover for me, I wanted to be there, but I just couldn’t be upbeat, interesting, or even overly friendly. I was exhausted and sick; I thought surely this new group of students would understand.

Instead, their first impression of me had been set. It was the toughest semester I ever taught. They distrusted me and couldn’t understand the visits by former students. That one week made a huge difference!

My packaging was all messed up.

How is Your Packaging?

Packaging matters. It can relate whether you respect yourself or not. In fact, it can tell perfect strangers whether or not you even love yourself.

If you indeed do not care for yourself, may I tell you that no one can love you if you don’t. And no one can love you for yourself if you don’t even know who you are.

If you are in this category, you need to come to the realization that you are worth loving, worth caring for, worth taking care of, before you read further.

Advertising a Woman Worth Pursuing, Respecting, Loving:

Step One

Assuming you care about yourself—after all, you are reading this article:

Advertising involves several steps. First, you must evaluate the product, YOU.

Take out a sheet of paper or a word document and begin listing:

1. What do you dislike about yourself? This can be anything from the crook in your nose (yes, I have one too!) to the way you walk. It can be your laugh or lack thereof. Anything that you are not proud of, list it. Just be honest with yourself.

2. What do you like about yourself? Really think about this and list your ‘likes’ both great and small. Do you like your smile, your ability to decorate, or your nails? What things make you interesting and beautiful? Believe me, these items are there!

3. Now, narrow down your ‘like’ list to at least 3 things you Absolutely Love about yourself! Yes, sometimes it almost feels hypocritical or silly to list these…but it’s important that you do! If you can’t find anything you like or absolutely love, that is an entirely different article! In short, you need some major esteem building. Try this exercise with a loving friend who can help point out your best characteristics for starters!

Step Two

Advertising is now about handling both ends of the spectrum: the good, the bad, and sometimes the ugly!

First, with any product, advertisers try to hide, mask, or simply not mention its defects or imperfections! As humans, we all have weaknesses! What is funny is that. many times, we are the only ones who notice them! However, if hiding or masking them makes you feel more confident as a woman, it’s worth it because that added confidence will be noticed!

A quick example: Some time in my childhood, I seem to have broken my nose…or at least knocked it a bit off course, you might say!

Due to this unfortunate imperfection, my left profile differs from my right! Yes, it’s one of those things that no one seems to notice but me … well, and any of my friends who are reading this who will undoubtedly be looking next time! Hehe….

The profile of my right side shows the slight crook in my nose, making it appear longer and less attractive. The profile of my left side, however, shows a pretty, straight nose that fits me well.

What have I figured out? Well, luckily, the man usually drives when you’re on a date and he sits to the left of the passenger! What luck! Of course, my husband has no idea how many times I opted to sit to his right for this reason nor did he realize the engineering on my part while we were taking engagement and wedding pictures! I’m cautious to show my left side to the camera!

Since I seldom switch the orientation of my personal photographs, you will likely notice that just about every picture of me on this site is of my left side! Voila! Silly but so worthy it to me!

Now that you know my secret….well, my hitmen will be arriving at your door any minute now!

Ok, Back to Advertising

Like I was saying though, advertising is about masking imperfections while highlighting your strong points!

In advertising, they are called ‘features!’ Do you have a beautiful, long neck? Then, stock hiding it underneath turtlenecks! Choose flattering necklines that emphasize your strong feature!

Do you have beautiful hair? Take extra time to make sure it is fixed each day and don’t wear clothing that detracts from it! In fact, wear colors that call attention to your hair color! (More on this later!)

If you can’t find anything you like or absolutely love, that is an entirely different article! In short, you need some major esteem building. Try this exercise with a loving friend who can help point out your best characteristics for starters!

If You Get Anything From This Today,

1. Realize there are no perfect women. We all have weaknesses and strengths; some of us have simply learned to dress accordingly!

2. Assess yourself. What are your weaknesses (or flaws, as we mistakenly call them) and what are your strengths?

3. Stop beating yourself up for being who you are, and stop holding onto an ‘ideal size’ that is out of reach. Start loving yourself now…and dressing like it!

Accommodating Thick Ankles

Ankles are seldom mentioned in fashion magazines, yet they are pivotal elements of how our calves meet our high heels! A clever turning of your foot—started by your lovely ankle—for instance, gives poise and elegance! Furthermore, the size of our ankles can affect how our calves look.

It can be a bit frustrating, therefore, when they rank among one of our dislikes! Often, our ankles are wider than we would like or our calves aren’t large enough to balance our bone size. While this certainly shouldn’t rank too high in your list of concerns, there are definitely some techniques available for minimizing the appearance of your ankles….and I don’t mean wearing snow boots!

Flattering Choices:

Wear heels with pointed toes as rounded or squared toes stop the continuity of your leg abruptly, making it appear stumpy!

Heels...enough said!  Mules and slingbacks are great options!

Pair dark, opaque hose with the same color heels; the dark color has a slimming effect while the continuity of color draws attention away from the shape, shifting the eyes to other parts of your appearance that are more appealing.

If you're not wearing hose or tights, opt for heels that match the tone of your leg!  Once again, continuity will slim them!


Less Flattering Choices:

The ever-so-fun shoe shopping 'No-No' list:

* No flats or birkenstocks

* No flipflips or loafers

* Keep away from gladiators or lace up platforms

* Clogs and ugs will look horrible...on any woman!

* White tennis shoes or white heels will draw too much attention.

* Sneakers and even kitten heels can detract from your appearance.

* Also, refrain from wearing heels that greatly contrast with your skin color!

Thick Calves...Lucky You!

Our calf muscle can be quite the alluring object if handled correctly. It is for this reason that many were shocked in the early 1920s as women began showing their calves. Contrary to common knowledge, any scholar can attest to the fact that the flapper dresses of the Roaring Twenties came to the knee.

They weren’t these mini-skirt numbers you see creep out for Halloween parties amongst the wilder in our society. Add a bolero over those bare arms and a bra, and the flapper dress would hardly be recognized.

The key, however, is how sexy a calf or a nicely-turned ankle can be. If you notice, most flapper skirts had fringe on the bottom hem. Why? Because such adornment drew the eyes to the woman’s legs for closer admiration!

This being said, you already have gorgeous, full calves or you wouldn’t be reading this page! The key, however, is—once again—balancing the calf with the rest of your body to give a balanced—if somewhat curvaceous—appearance.

To this end, I hope the following tips get you started in the right direction!
Flattering Choices:

Solid colored pumps are best; having too much ornamentation can make your legs look a bit too chunky with items!

Solid color A-line skirts add width to the area just above your calves, adding balance.

Very cute and chic:  black hose (preferably opaque) with dark colored heels to lengthen the leg and slim it!

High heel boots work well as long as they aren't tight enough to cause 'muffin leg'!

Maxi dresses or shorter skirts in darker colors like black, brown, or navy are slimming should you have fluff higher up!


Less Flattering Choices:

Ankle strap heels are a mistake as they often appear to be cutting into your ankles!  Only wear these if you small ankles.

Gladiators are never good; neither are those that lace up your ankle!

Bright colored hose or those with busy designs draw too much attention as does pasty white skin so get some sun!

Steer clear of ugs or furry boots; they don't flatter any woman, unfortunately!

Final 'no-no's: leggings that end at the ankle or fishnet that will accentuate very large calves.  I know putting leggings under your skirt for outdoor activities is common but for dressier events, please refrain no matter what your size!

Slender Legs: Tweaking an Old Favorite

Having slender legs can really be an asset if dressed correctly! They make you look taller and, of course, slim and elegant! The problem usually occurs when the knee shows. No matter how slender the leg, it can look great a pair of heels with patterned tights…unless that bulky, unattractive knee is stealing the show!

Also, wearing clogs or large flip-flops or flats can really look odd with a pair of thin legs. I avoid them entirely for fear of looking like a duck! The point is, your body is fragile and slender; your shoes and even skirt styles need to mirror that.

Remember, it’s about balance!

Flattering Choices:

Pantyhose or tights with designs add interest to your legs, making their size less noticeable.

Skirts at least an inch below your knee are important; any higher and the bulk of your knee will make your legs look even thinner or misshapen.

Boots with built-in calves are great as long as they aren't too wide at the top!

Maxi skirts with cute sandals are always a plus--particularly with heels!

Heels actually make the calf ball up a bit so wear them whenever you wear those knee-length skirts!


Less Flattering Choices:

White, pasty legs look ill when your legs are slender; get some sun and you'll look much better!  They also have spray on tans and vitamins to help if you're not a fake-baker!

Stay away from dark or black hose as they slim; white--if it works with your outfit--or flesh colored is best!

Skirts at mid-calf or mid-ankle are murder for any size or shape of leg; showing the skinny ankle without the pretty calf isn't very attractive.  Opt for skirts just below your knee or at the base of your ankle!

Avoid heavy fabrics that will contrast with your size too much!

Dressing the Monster Hiney

As one of my best friends often quips, it’s hard to match the furniture when the seat cushion you carry outweighs the front verandah….or something nonsensical like that! Yes, it’s true. Some of us are blessed—maybe overly blessed—with a large back porch!

That certainly shouldn’t be the most of our worries though; there are many classy ways to dress for your body type, taking full advantage of your great curves while still remaining modest!

Flattering Choices:

Floral tops draw attention upward, balancing your top and bottom halves.  Just make certain the skirt is solid!

Empire waists provide more symmetry.

Dark skirts that are a-line work great!  They swish when you walk which is pretty flirtatious!

Try loose shift dresses or flared skirts; the flared hem will balance with the derriere!

Tunics and long cardigans that reach mid-thigh can give more continuity but make certain they are tapered so you don't look like a big box or a triangle!  Also, make certain your should width matches your hips or add shoulder pads to achieve the look!

Less Flattering Choices:

No light colored skirts should be worn as light colors make you appear larger.

Satin will draw attention with its shine.  Silk will cling to your booty so it's not a great choice either.  Thick fabric adds bulk so steer clear!

Leather--particularly black--is a bit on the cheap side so be cautious!

Big, bold print on your hiney will draw attention to its size!

Fluffy, ruffled, tiered, or even mermaid skirts can add girth and curve where it is not needed.  Be cautious where those ruffles and tiers are situated!

Tiny Hiney Syndrome

No Backside?

No Problem!




I've seen so many articles, books, and ads that offer help for a large derriere, but what about a tiny one?

We're women. There are some curves we want, right?

The problem with having a very small backside is that it can make you seem unbalanced. Remember, the key in packaging is balance.

Never fear though! Here are some great tips to try:

Flattering Choices:

A-line or full skirts add shape!

Jackets and shirts should come to your mid-hip for best results.  Longer or shorter is a recipe for disaster!

Shirts with gathers around the waist that fan out over the hips are super cute!

Ruffled and tiered skirts add the illusion of fullness!  Go for it!

Structured dresses--think 1950's--work really well in creating a figure as long as they are not too tight!


Less Flattering Choices:

Tight pencil skirts highlight your lack of curves unless your jacket comes to mid-hip!

Long jackets past your hips can make you look like a waif because you don't have enough bump back there to show!

Heavy fabric on skirts pulls them close against your backside, revealing your size, so opt for lighter fabrics.

Waist-length jackets without the aid of a fluffy skirt will really make you look curveless; if you're dying to wear one, pair it with an a'line or full skirt!