Dressing For Your Body ...
And You Do Have One!
So often we see an outfit that looks amazing on another sister or even on a celebrity; we instantly think that wearing that outfit will gain us the beauty she has! However, we each need to realize that we are completely individual!
Unlike Any Other
There is no one quite like you! The mix is totally unique: your hair color, your eye color, the tone of your skin, the shape and size of your body, your personality, and even the body movements that characterize you! No one—even an identical twin—is a carbon copy of another person!
I’ll tell you why….Hollywood and the media present a one-sided coin to us. You either fit X, Y, and Z of the requirements, or you do not fit in at all!
Unfortunately, Hollywood and the wide array of modeling agencies across our nation do not portray an image or series of images that is a correct representation of our society!
What does that mean?
Over 99% of models and actresses we see in clothing ads, films, and on the stage are smaller than a size 4! However, this is not a representative model! In fact, less than 5% of average American women are that size!
What’s amazing is that we allow that 5% to tell the rest of us what is acceptable. We allow them to dictate our worth and how we measure up in the beauty department!
It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee! These women aren’t any happier with their bodies than we are; many of them have had multiple plastic surgeries! They tuck! They inject! They implant!
There is no satisfaction because they, like many of us, have never understood how to simply dress for their bodies! Before you need to sit a spell on the counselor’s couch, let’s just get some facts out in the open!
It’s not about having a perfect body. In fact, I challenge you to find a woman with a perfect body! The reason it is impossible is because everyone has a different idea of beauty.
For instance, I recently found out that a male coworker of mine has thought I was sickly since I’ve known him; now, I am not a puny size 0 or even a size 4 by any means, but my height makes me appear thinner than I am. However, since I was not curvaceous, he actually thought something was wrong with me!
His idea of beauty is a woman who is at least a size 14; never smaller has he ever dated! And, let me tell you, he is not settling or desperate as we would say, tearing ourselves down even further. He is a very attractive, very successful, and very intelligent business man who has become dear friends with me and my husband! He isn’t desperate; he simply has a different idea of beauty than those assembling our catalogs!
None of us is doomed to be unattractive; beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder and we have to stop seeing ourselves with Hollywood’s eyes! Doing so can actually wreck our marriages as the men who already love us struggle to understand why their love and adoration are not enough to please us!
No matter your physical size or shape, it is about (1) the inside, and (2) how you package yourself!
Advertising
It is a well-known fact in the advertising world that 80% of what sells a product is its packaging. Sad but true, you could pass up a truly wonderful Bar-B-Q sauce because of shabby labeling in favor of a lesser flavored brand that boasts a creative marketing team!
We all fall for these tricks on a daily basis; isn’t it time we learned a few of them for ourselves?
Now, please don’t misunderstand me. We are not for sale. We don’t flaunt ourselves in a parade, selling ourselves to the highest bidder!
First Impressions….Ok, all impressions
However, it is true that first impressions count! I am reminded of when I used to teach college English. Every semester, I made it my goal to be the most upbeat, encouraging, and even interesting instructor on staff. And for many semesters, my students absolutely loved me!
I was the one they invited to their weddings and their baby showers. I was the one they came to for advice. I was the one that several divulged their hearts to because I was the only stability they could turn to at the time.
Taking care of my first impression with them built lasting relationships—relationships I still have though I have not taught there in over four years!
I am reminded, however, of one semester in particular. I had a bad case of strep throat during the first week of classes. Rather than allowing another instructor to cover for me, I wanted to be there, but I just couldn’t be upbeat, interesting, or even overly friendly. I was exhausted and sick; I thought surely this new group of students would understand.
Instead, their first impression of me had been set. It was the toughest semester I ever taught. They distrusted me and couldn’t understand the visits by former students. That one week made a huge difference!
My packaging was all messed up.
How is Your Packaging?
If you indeed do not care for yourself, may I tell you that no one can love you if you don’t. And no one can love you for yourself if you don’t even know who you are.
If you are in this category, you need to come to the realization that you are worth loving, worth caring for, worth taking care of, before you read further.
Advertising a Woman Worth Pursuing, Respecting, Loving:
Step One
Assuming you care about yourself—after all, you are reading this article:
Advertising involves several steps. First, you must evaluate the product, YOU.
Take out a sheet of paper or a word document and begin listing:
1. What do you dislike about yourself? This can be anything from the crook in your nose (yes, I have one too!) to the way you walk. It can be your laugh or lack thereof. Anything that you are not proud of, list it. Just be honest with yourself.
2. What do you like about yourself? Really think about this and list your ‘likes’ both great and small. Do you like your smile, your ability to decorate, or your nails? What things make you interesting and beautiful? Believe me, these items are there!
3. Now, narrow down your ‘like’ list to at least 3 things you Absolutely Love about yourself! Yes, sometimes it almost feels hypocritical or silly to list these…but it’s important that you do! If you can’t find anything you like or absolutely love, that is an entirely different article! In short, you need some major esteem building. Try this exercise with a loving friend who can help point out your best characteristics for starters!
Step Two
Advertising is now about handling both ends of the spectrum: the good, the bad, and sometimes the ugly!
First, with any product, advertisers try to hide, mask, or simply not mention its defects or imperfections! As humans, we all have weaknesses! What is funny is that. many times, we are the only ones who notice them! However, if hiding or masking them makes you feel more confident as a woman, it’s worth it because that added confidence will be noticed!
A quick example: Some time in my childhood, I seem to have broken my nose…or at least knocked it a bit off course, you might say!
Due to this unfortunate imperfection, my left profile differs from my right! Yes, it’s one of those things that no one seems to notice but me … well, and any of my friends who are reading this who will undoubtedly be looking next time! Hehe….
The profile of my right side shows the slight crook in my nose, making it appear longer and less attractive. The profile of my left side, however, shows a pretty, straight nose that fits me well.
What have I figured out? Well, luckily, the man usually drives when you’re on a date and he sits to the left of the passenger! What luck! Of course, my husband has no idea how many times I opted to sit to his right for this reason nor did he realize the engineering on my part while we were taking engagement and wedding pictures! I’m cautious to show my left side to the camera!
Since I seldom switch the orientation of my personal photographs, you will likely notice that just about every picture of me on this site is of my left side! Voila! Silly but so worthy it to me!
Now that you know my secret….well, my hitmen will be arriving at your door any minute now!
Ok, Back to Advertising
Like I was saying though, advertising is about masking imperfections while highlighting your strong points!
In advertising, they are called ‘features!’ Do you have a beautiful, long neck? Then, stock hiding it underneath turtlenecks! Choose flattering necklines that emphasize your strong feature!
Do you have beautiful hair? Take extra time to make sure it is fixed each day and don’t wear clothing that detracts from it! In fact, wear colors that call attention to your hair color! (More on this later!)
If you can’t find anything you like or absolutely love, that is an entirely different article! In short, you need some major esteem building. Try this exercise with a loving friend who can help point out your best characteristics for starters!
If You Get Anything From This Today,
1. Realize there are no perfect women. We all have weaknesses and strengths; some of us have simply learned to dress accordingly!
2. Assess yourself. What are your weaknesses (or flaws, as we mistakenly call them) and what are your strengths?
3. Stop beating yourself up for being who you are, and stop holding onto an ‘ideal size’ that is out of reach. Start loving yourself now…and dressing like it!
