Dressing the Monster Hiney

As one of my best friends often quips, it’s hard to match the furniture when the seat cushion you carry outweighs the front verandah….or something nonsensical like that! Yes, it’s true. Some of us are blessed—maybe overly blessed—with a large back porch!

That certainly shouldn’t be the most of our worries though; there are many classy ways to dress for your body type, taking full advantage of your great curves while still remaining modest!

Flattering Choices:

Floral tops draw attention upward, balancing your top and bottom halves.  Just make certain the skirt is solid!

Empire waists provide more symmetry.

Dark skirts that are a-line work great!  They swish when you walk which is pretty flirtatious!

Try loose shift dresses or flared skirts; the flared hem will balance with the derriere!

Tunics and long cardigans that reach mid-thigh can give more continuity but make certain they are tapered so you don't look like a big box or a triangle!  Also, make certain your should width matches your hips or add shoulder pads to achieve the look!

Less Flattering Choices:

No light colored skirts should be worn as light colors make you appear larger.

Satin will draw attention with its shine.  Silk will cling to your booty so it's not a great choice either.  Thick fabric adds bulk so steer clear!

Leather--particularly black--is a bit on the cheap side so be cautious!

Big, bold print on your hiney will draw attention to its size!

Fluffy, ruffled, tiered, or even mermaid skirts can add girth and curve where it is not needed.  Be cautious where those ruffles and tiers are situated!